We spent Thanksgiving in the mountains with Katherine and Sean as well as Sean's family which was fun. It was nice to be with some family. Katherine and I actually cooked the meal - we were very proud of ourselves. The next week was mine and Bryan's birthdays and we both got sick - such a bummer. The upside was that the kids and I watched the entire "Avatar" series that week!! If you haven't seen it and you have kids, I would strongly suggest it. Although - I'll admit - I may have enjoyed it even more than the kids!
Christmas ... honestly, was rough. It was so good to be with my family and see some friends, but the circumstances were hard. I was really struggling with some anxiety which was totally new to me. It isn't hard to figure out how I got to that point when looking at the last 6 to 8 months (moving, raising support, doing a lot of single parenting) - but it still really caught me off guard. So a lot of Christmas break I was processing and learning about anxiety and panic attacks. On top of that, there was a stomach bug that went through our family which is always lovely. Honestly - I was just very disappointed with how things played out. I had been so looking forward to going home - and it turned out to be a really hard couple of weeks.
We got back to Colorado and the anxiety was better, but still an issue. So Bryan and I decided I needed to see a doctor before school starts up again. I went last Friday and am now on some medication so we are praying that it helps. I have had some normal side effects such as fatigue, sour stomach and dizziness - but most of the things I have heard and read is that those tend to wear off as your body adjusts. And it usually takes a couple of weeks to really start noticing a difference. So we will see. I keep thinking about something that I heard in a sermon/talk recently - "If you are struggling, struggle well." In other words, glorify God in the process. Easier said than done, but I am trying. He is deepening me, refining me and growing me - and while that can be painful, it is so good.
I was debating on sharing all of this on the blog, but it is a huge thing going on in our lives right now and those of you that care enough to read this far would probably want to know. So thank you for caring about us - it means more than you know!
On a lighter note!!! Bryan's family came up last week and we got to go skiing - we had so much fun! We skied, played games, ate good food and just had sweet family time. Bryan and I got to ski quite a bit with our oldest 3 nephews which was a blast - they are growing so fast. And we even got Jordan on some skis! She has a free pass and ended up using Eli's rentals skis (he is 6 months older than her) - and she loved it! It was exhausting for me, but such a highlight. It was just the two of us and we had ball.
We have been soaking up time together while Bryan doesn't have class which has been so nice. But everything starts back up next week so we are trying to gear up for that. With all that being said, here are a few prayer requests for us:
- Please pray for my anxiety. I am doing a little better every day which is encouraging! But with school starting up next week, our schedule is going to be kicking into high gear again. So I need to be feeling good. And it is hard for Bryan to be gone when he knows that I am not feeling well.
- Finances. We are still raising support and Bryan is working, but obviously we are having a some unexpected expenses with doctor visits and a few other things. So just pray that God would provide exactly what we need.
- Bryan's job. We are praying about if/when Bryan should look for another job. Things have picked up some at On The Border, but it could be better. We are just praying for wisdom with all that.
Thanks for reading and for walking this journey with us. It has been a crazy ride already - but God is at work and we are excited to be a part of it! Here are few fun pictures from the last few months.
Cousins with their Nonie! They all loved being together!
Such fun with family!
That's my girl!
Girl, I have been struggling with the same problem of anxiety. I feel it is the enemy trying to steal my joy. It is hard, but I am much better now. I know we haven't talked in years, but if you need me...E-mail glaze_scott@yahoo.com or call 501-860-1406. I will keep you in my prayers. Love, Courtney (Towell)
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